Why were they calling me a warrior?

Thriving at work without fighting each other.

This extremely nice and skilled office manager kept calling me a warrior. A lot. Almost after every team meeting. I know she meant it as a compliment and I took it as such. But it always deeply questioned me.

I absolutely never felt that I was a warrior. War is not an energy that moves me. On the contrary. Since I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with ending conflicts and building peace. This led me to law school and a specialization in public international law, humanitarian law and human rights. I cannot stand war. I found it the most absurd human behavior and a complete defeat in itself.

So why was this very smart and sensitive woman always calling me a warrior? What did she mean by that? Only her could give us a totally accurate answer to this question, but my guess is she meant that she didn’t see me shy away from fighting for what was right.

In this specific work setting, as an external manager, I faced instant resistance to change  from the current executives. And I just kept going. Because I was worried about work conditions, quality standards, and lack of sales and economical success for the company. Real things, very concrete issues that needed to be addressed fast.

Some people cannot accept change because they think individually, instead of having the best interest of the entire group in mind. Change to them means that what they used to do is not good enough. They take it as a personal attack and they will go to unbelievable ends to defend themselves and their old ways. Thus the war. This explains why these teams were looking at me as a warrior. I simply refused to give in and accept old abusive ways and disrespectful team management for the sake of avoiding conflict.

But this doesn’t mean I like conflicts. I just don’t run away from them. And it doesn’t mean that I’m not a good warrior. I’m an excellent one. I was raised to defend, and to protect. I learned to take hits and give them back twice as hard. It doesn’t mean I like being a warrior. There are many things I’m good at that are very far from who I am and what I want to bring to the world.

I’m a builder, not a warrior.

This great office manager was right. I was a warrior in this specific workplace. Because there was a war going on and I didn’t decide to let detrimental ideas and people win over me.

But did I enjoy it? Not a bit. I’m a great fighter. But I like to fight limitations, make impossible things possible, and create new paths. I hate fighting people. It’s a waste of my energy. I like to build. I like to never give up on building long lasting peace, joy and success.

When we’re in charge of projects, companies, and employees, it’s important to focus our skills on everybody’s wellbeing and on what we’re really good at.

Sometimes it feels like we don’t have a choice. I often witness women accepting abuse, lower salaries and lack of consideration, simply because they’re following their deep desire to not be fighting people at work all day long. I understand that. I respect that desire in me as well. As should anyone, woman or man.

Collaboration will always lead us further. Sometimes, it means walking away from places. Sometimes it means fighting to change things where we are. Sometimes it means creating new places where everyone can thrive with integrity.

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE IS THAT I’M A BUILDER. I BUILD CONNECTIONS, PROJECTS, BUSINESSES, AND FIRST AND FOREMOST SUCCESSFUL HEALTHY PLACES FOR COOPERATION.